Chapter 20 - Avoid False Incentives

A common trap that trips up marijuana users trying to quit is creating artificial external motivations, like rewarding themselves with gifts or vacations if they can abstain from marijuana for a certain period of time. On the surface this seems like a logical and sensible strategy, but it actually tends to backfire and do more harm than good in the long run.

The problem is that any self-respecting user who is honest with themselves would readily admit they would rather keep casually smoking marijuana every day than have to force themselves to completely abstain for months just to earn some sort of contrived, self-imposed prize or "carrot." When you think it through, this approach only serves to greatly increase the addict's sense of being denied of and sacrificing their favorite pleasure or crutch during the abstinence period. It makes marijuana seem even more precious, desirable, and virtually irreplaceable for enjoyment in their minds.

Other common examples of counterproductive false incentives are commitments like:

"I'll stop smoking weed so that it will force me to finally get out and be more social and meet new people."

"I'll quit so that I can channel that energy into getting ahead at my job or starting a new business."

"I'll stop so that my motivation, drive, and hunger for success in life will increase."

On one level these sound like positive motivations and valid reasons to quit. But the problem lies in falsely assuming: A) that abstaining will directly cause these benefits and B) that you cannot achieve these goals without quitting marijuana first.

In reality, even if you do succeed in stopping and end up getting what you wanted in terms of social life, career, or motivation, you'll quickly find the novelty wears off. And once it does, you'll be stuck feeling bored, restless, and deprived without marijuana to fill the void. If you don't succeed in accomplishing those goals after quitting, you'll just feel doubly miserable and like a failure for lacking the willpower or capability to make it happen. Either way, the risk of temptation remains if you don't address the root causes.

Relying on false incentives and unrealistic expectations like these sets up more self-doubt, uncertainty, and worst of all - cravings. Thoughts like "Well I managed to quit but I'm still not any happier or more successful, so did it really work?" or "I wasn't able to stay quit and didn't get what I wanted, so maybe this method wasn't right for me?" inevitably creep up. Thoughts like these just magnify your feelings of sacrifice and deprivation from abstaining, which in turn creates strong urges and cravings for marijuana.

Another common trap is relying on pacts with groups of online friends or forum members to abstain from marijuana for a certain period of time together. These can provide some short-term benefit by eliminating temptations and creating camaraderie, but they generally end in failure for most smokers eventually. Here's why:

• The incentive to quit is false. You shouldn't be trying to stop using marijuana just because other random people online say they are doing it too. That adds unnecessary extra pressure and a forced element.

• Forced willpower through a group pact starts to feel like a period of penance or probation, during which you're just painfully waiting for the urges and temptation to gradually fade on their own. If anyone in the pact relapses or "slips up" by using marijuana, it immediately provides a convenient excuse for you to also break the commitment and go back to old habits.

• When you share the glory of quitting as part of a group, it inevitably reduces the feeling of full individual achievement and personal motivation compared to if you were tackling it solo. Successfully overcoming marijuana addiction alone lets you fully own that victory.

One of the empty promises the "gurus" like to make is that simply stopping marijuana will open the mystical door to you becoming perfectly happy, motivated, stress-free, and successful in every area of life. Of course, escaping any addiction does lift an enormous weight off your psyche by finally ending the constant tug-of-war and allowing your dopamine receptors and brain circuits to gradually normalize and heal. But make no mistake - quitting marijuana will not suddenly or magically turn you into a productive genius, get you ripped without exercise, or manifest stacks of cash overnight like some mystical law of attraction.

So if the proven enormous risks and realities of long-term marijuana use haven't been enough incentive for you to permanently stop thus far, make no mistake - arbitrary false incentives and empty "guru" promises won't suddenly override your underlying addictive programming either.

Instead, stay laser focused on truly weighing for yourself: What am I actually getting out of routinely using marijuana? HONESTLY, NOTHING POSITIVE. Why do I still THINK that I somehow "need" it? YOU ABSOLUTELY DON'T.

Look within and you'll find you have little to lose beyond ending the grand illusions your addiction has constructed around cannabis. And you have so so much genuine joy, motivation, success, and inner peace to gain when you finally close this chapter for good.

So with all that in mind, why bother dramatically declaring "I'm quitting marijuana for good!" publicly to all your family and friends? As with all goals, it just strengthens resistance from the addiction and plants seeds of doubt. Fail to follow through and it's doubly demoralizing.

Use mindfulness and meditation to recognize temptations and craving thoughts when they arise, seeing them as just your addiction talking rather than your true inner wishes. Cut off giving those thoughts oxygen early and starves your addiction of the attention and power it desires.

The only incentive you need is knowing you're one toke away from permanent freedom.